If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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