white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
