onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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