Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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