I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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