my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
