a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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