What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
she peed on how many people?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize
