he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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