We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Randomize
