Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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