Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
