It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
