Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
