I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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