Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Randomize