You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
