Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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