I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
