Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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