yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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