i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Everyone says I win the strip club
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
