I wish I could punch you in the face.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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