Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
