he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize