omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Randomize
