is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize