Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
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