I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Randomize