Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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