dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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