dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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