So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
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