All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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