Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
