I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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