ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize