I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
