I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
