That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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