You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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