Define "chronic" masturbator.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
