Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
