It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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