I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
