I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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