he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
