so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
