Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize
