Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
