she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Randomize
