It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
40s are totally the cure
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
