I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Randomize
