what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
