Plan B is the new Plan A
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
