I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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