if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
