her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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