remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
The power of my boobs compel you
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
