a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
