I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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