We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Congratulations! We have a period
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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