id be glad to
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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