Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
