I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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