GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
