love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Randomize
