White coat. Heels.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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