Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i think i have herpe
just one?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
