the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Duck Duck Cougar?
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
