When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
You need Xanax blowdarts
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
lol hangovers are for mortals.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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