There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
