then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
