Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
