I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
