Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
