Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I've blown a few things in my day
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Sober January is a disaster.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize