Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
