Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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