I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
