just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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