Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
These tits shall not be calmed
Randomize
