I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
