This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
